59. I've been unwise all these years
On eating through it, and other summer reports.
Hi friends.
I got my wisdom teeth out yesterday, but the hard part was the week before.
I flew to Chicago and then Dallas for work with what turned out to be a very angry wisdom tooth protruding sideways into my cheek. In Chicago, we hosted our supper club at Maxwell’s Trading. The griddled breads were excellent. The whipped ricotta was the favorite. The French Onion Dip reminded us we were in the Midwest. I ate through the pain. I had no other option.
In Dallas, my mission was to have BBQ. That meant eating Pecan Lodge through a jaw that had developed strong feelings about the situation. I am not a dedicated meat eater, so I ordered the Hot Mess — a sweet potato loaded with brisket — rather than a straight plate of protein. It was extraordinary. My only regret was being unable to eat more of it, which I note as someone who was in active pain and eating it anyway.
I am in my 30’s, which means I have been technically lacking wisdom for the duration of my adult life. The oral surgeon did not comment on this. Before he started, he told me the sedation would feel like Xanax, then immediately added, “not that I’ve ever taken that — that’s just what people tell me.” The surgery took twenty minutes. The sedation was light enough that I could have taken the subway home.
A friend texted the night before that she was hoping for a viral laughing gas moment. Another reminded me of the ‘Hey Arnold’ episode where Helga confesses her love for Arnold under nitrous. My husband was reportedly on standby to film me upon completion. But alas, medicine has advanced beyond that.
After a week of brisket-related suffering, feeling nothing was its own reward.
If you missed the last dispatch, how reality tv can prepare you for motherhood:
Rumor has it that Substack is suppressing free content. If you’d like to resist the algorithm pushing paid content only, then liking, sharing, and commenting on this newsletter will help! <3
America’s 250th birthday party forecast: rain, 100-degree heat, and wildfire restrictions on fireworks. A heat dome is trapping 230 million people under triple-digit heat indices through the holiday weekend (D.C., New York, and Boston could all hit 100 on Thursday) while Minneapolis, Chicago, Atlanta, Nashville, and most of the East Coast are also in the rain zone for the actual fireworks. The West gets wind and drought restrictions instead. Let’s party!
Trump's income hit $2 billion in 2025, up from $600 million the year before. Crypto and coin ventures drove most of the jump, per nearly 1,000 pages of financial disclosures filed while he was president.
Serena Williams is back in singles. The 44-year-old received a Wimbledon wildcard and will play her first Grand Slam singles match since the 2022 US Open, nearly four years after “evolving away” from tennis. She’s also playing doubles with Venus. Two wins away from 100 career Wimbledon victories.
Kiki’s has been seized by the state for $1.26 million in unpaid taxes. The Dimes Square Greek taverna, where I once dined at the same time as Scarlett Johansson, woke up to orange NYS seizure flyers overnight. 12 open tax warrants across the LLC, plus personal income tax warrants for both owners. The regulars migrated unbothered to the unmarked annex across the street, where staff simply confirmed, “We are open.” Someone taped a handwritten sign on the closed door: “Mamdani please help them.”
Ample Hills is making you sign a waiver to eat spicy ice cream. The Brooklyn scoop shop's new Heatonist collab includes a Carolina Reaper flavor called Sweet Regret clocking in between 1.5 and 2.2 million Scoville units. It’s available in-store only, waiver required. The gentler entry point is a mango soft serve with tajín. The middle option is chocolate brownie with cayenne, which sounds genuinely good.
New York Mag did a whole Hamptons issue about adults staying at their parents’ beach houses. The comment with 515 likes: “please let this Hamptons coverage end.” One commenter pointed out this is literally just multigenerational vacation home use, a concept that has existed for a century. The writer compares her situation to Chekhov.
“I think there is this interesting dynamic of people who grew up coming out here as children. You know who your peers were, who you grew up with there. And then there’s all these other people who are now in their 40s who have actually purchased their own houses themselves, and you don’t know who they are. So you’re kind of like, ‘Hi, I’m a writer. You must be a venture capitalist.’”
— Diana Lind, author of Brave New Home
People might want Hamptons coverage to end but I actually do want to see what people wear when they garden. Ron Finley wins chicest gardening outfit.
Rufus Wainwright is renting out his Montauk cottage for $20,000 a month. The two-bedroom, one-bath near Hither Hills Ocean Beach is where he got married, and is apparently his "spiritual home." But not so spiritual that he isn’t willing to part with it for the summer while he's on tour and lower the price when no one bit. It’s down from an initial ask of $25,000. A comparable renovated Leisurama nearby is listed at $12,000, so you are paying a meaningful premium for the spiritual home of Rufus Wainwright.
Welcome to the loneliness influencer. Lana Isa is a 24-year-old Toronto software-sales manager with nearly 200,000 followers who opens every video by establishing she has no friends and no romantic partners, then documents her solo life: arriving home from work, heating up frozen food, watching body cam videos while she eats. She nearly wept over the return of the Starbucks S'mores Frappuccino. More than half of U.S. adults report feeling isolated often or some of the time, per a 2025 APA survey, which may explain the audience — though the irony of building a massive following around having no one hasn't been lost on viewers either.
The self-proclaimed king of Switzerland. Jonas Lauwiner, 31, exploited a loophole in Swiss civil code that lets anyone claim ownerless land for free and has since accumulated 117,000 square metres of territory, including 83 roads. His crown took 13 months to make, is 18-carat gold, and he shows up to media interviews in gilded military dress with a 10-person protection contingent. He works full-time at a pharmaceutical company.
Shopping dopamine hit: Upstate home goods favorite, Hawkins New York, is having their biggest sale of the year. The stoneware berry basket is adorable, although not quite functional. This candlestick holder in black with black taper candles is sexy. Up to 60% off the getaway edit from SIMKHAI (this could be an iconic wedding guest dress). 30% off sitewide at Pixie Market with code SUMMER30. If you shop the sale section then apply the code, this cute bomber jacket goes from $99 to $69.
Ok bye! 🍊
Thanks for reading!