25. Avoidance.
10 things you can do instead of consuming the news.
Today’s letter includes: Why fishermen have to pay for funerals if they find dead bodies (yes, really), the financialization of friendship and $2K bachelorette parties that are bankrupting us all, Trump launching a government website to sell drugs (?!), where MAGA eats in DC, your new church is apparently a members club in Savannah, and a Marine oyster farmer who might actually unseat Susan Collins.
Hi friends. The news has been depressing all year but it really feels like we’re in an especially scary moment here in the U.S.
In case you would also like to occasionally dissociate from reality, here’s what’s been working for me.
Listening to: Dirt Bag Climber. A five-part-docu-series from the CBC that premiered at Tribeca Film Festival about a murder victim with multiple identities. 4 of the 5 episodes have been released - I’ve listened to them all and anxiously await episode 5.
I’m a big fan of the work being done by our neighbors in Canada. S/o to oldie but goodie Alone: A Love Story, which should be on anyone’s breakup playlist, along with repeated viewings of Under the Tuscan Sun. I also recently finished “Sea of Lies“ - another CBC hit where I learned a lot about how messed up it is to be a fisherman who finds a dead body. Apparently the fisherman has to pay for the funeral if no next of kin are found, thus disincentivizing you from reporting the body! A very strange occupational hazard.
Reading: Why Do Asian Brands Pretend to be Japanese? I don’t know but I’ll find out in this piece by Patrick Kho - it’s a tab I’ve had open all week.
I’m attempting to read Kitchen Confidential just for fun. In times like these, Anthony Bourdain feels appropriate. Also in the world of celeb chefs, Jeremiah Tower never ceases to be an extremely fascinating specimen. He recently published an essay where he not only candidly talks about Chez Panisse’ reliance on nose candy, but also essentially claims to have invented personal pizzas. Maybe he did! I really don’t know! But I do love his writing.
I really enjoyed the latest newsletter from Hayley Sacks, aka Mrs. Dow Jones. She wrote about the cost of friendships these days and how they are quite expensive. The average American spends about $825 just to attend a wedding (and that’s before airfare and PTO), and bachelorette parties now average $1,500–$2,000 a guest.
She posits: “Here’s the problem: we’ve normalized the financialization of friendship. Every milestone comes with a checkout page. Bachelorette → Wedding → Baby → Housewarming → Another baby. At some point, we have to ask: are we celebrating our friends, or are we subsidizing their life stages? If you want to have a baby or get married- do it. But why is it up to me to pay for it?”
I don’t mind paying for these things because I’m lucky enough to be able to afford it, but these situations can feel weird when its someone I’m not close to. And for those of us who don’t have a bunch of extra income, I can see it becoming a big burden fast.
Sacks’ newsletter provides 3 ways to set some boundaries like setting a dollar amount you’re willing to allocate to life events each year and once you hit it, you’re out; replacing gifts with presence; and being honest early about what you can afford.
Watching: The Pitt on HBO Max or whatever it is now called. As someone with Pittsburgh heritage I find it interesting that only one character attempts a Pittsburgh accent. My husband and I call her “Nurse Pittsburgh.” She won an Emmy so at least the Hollywood elites are convinced by it (as am I).
These comments on her acceptance speech hit on why I think she deserves the Emmy:
“It’s not that Katherine has some amazing monologue or high emotional moment. She just feels convincing as hell as a charge nurse.”
“My mom and my sister are both nurses and they say you couldn’t have portrayed a charge nurse any better.”
*Side note - the show is apparently getting sued by the creator of ER. lol.
Donating: Apathy is the enemy of progress, so even though I am distracting myself from the news to avoid entering a debilitating depressive state, I am donating where I think it can make a difference and I always make sure to vote in my local elections.
Lately, I’m donating to and watching Graham Platner, who is trying to take Susan Collins’ Senate seat in Maine. Collins has had a long run, first getting elected in 1996 and has been in office for more than 28 years. Why do I think Platner might actually be able to do it? He’s a Marine and U.S. Army veteran, oyster farmer, and born and raised Mainer. What’s more Maine than that?
I also really like State + Local Election Alliance - which focuses solely on non-federal offices driving resources to where they’ll make the most impact and often at a fraction of the cost. Ok, enough serious stuff. Let’s party talk.
Wtf is TrumpRx. Trump unveiled plans Tuesday to launch a government-run website, dubbed TrumpRx, for consumers to buy drugs directly from manufacturers. Is this real life?
NYC Mayor Eric Adams dropped out of the race. As N’Sync said, “Bye, bye, bye.” Now it’s a three-way race between Zohran Mamdani, Andrew Cuomo, and Curtis Sliwa.
MAGA is changing the Washington DC dining scene. To round out our “political” news, this article about where MAGA likes to eat in DC was fascinating (and also gave me the ick).
“Bannon was nowhere in sight on this steamy D.C. evening, but other creatures of the new Trump revolution were already crowding into the snug little dining room at Butterworth’s. There were pale-faced frat-boy interns dressed in crewneck shirts and Palm Beach–style matrons with great beehive hairdos making their stately way to the restroom clutching pickle-colored margarita drinks.”
I would love to see their back of house - particularly the dishwashers. A real quote from a waiter there:
“’I’m not MAGA, I’m a normal person,’ our server offered with a slightly apologetic grin…”
Here’s your guide to NYFF. The New York Film Festival runs through October 13 at Lincoln Center. I asked my sister (who is a filmmaker and will be attending a few screenings herself) what she thinks is worth seeing.
“If I had a free pass and Lincoln Center was down the street from my apartment, I’d be seeing Sentimental Value, No Other Choice, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You, It Was Just an Accident, and Romería. Also interested in Late Fame, Gavagai, After the Hunt, Sirāt.”
Milan Fashion Week just wrapped but apparently people were more excited about Soho House and Six Senses opening in Milan according to Nadine @ The Stanza.
Several designers debuted their first collections for major luxury houses, including Louise Trotter for Bottega Veneta and Dario Vitale for Versace. Demna unveiled his first Gucci collection via a short film featuring Demi Moore, Edward Norton, and Elliot Page. Giorgio Armani’s final collection was unveiled posthumously at the Pinacoteca di Brera museum, with models walking in solemn pairs.
I’ll never get over the fact that her name is Apple. Gwyneth Paltrow and her 21-year-old daughter Apple Martin are the new faces of GapStudio.
The Bad Bunny Super Bowl teaser actually got me hype.... for my girl’s trip to Puerto Rico next year hahaha. But this will be a good one for sure.
A Dunkin x Urban Outfitters Collab is here. I do not understand the allure of this.
Your new church is apparently a members club in Savannah with a co-working space. Members-only clubs are booming in midsize cities like Jacksonville, Lexington, and Savannah as young professionals relocate from bigger markets and bring their disposable incomes with them, trading stuffy and expensive country clubs for hipper alternatives with curated social experiences, buzzy events, and easier access. Jeff Klein, founder of some of the most famous private clubs in America, says that private clubs are basically a replacement for the community previously provided by going to church. In all my visits to Soho House a stranger has never talked to me, let alone become part of my community so.... idk.
Ralph Lauren to open The Polo Bar Ralph Lauren in London. It will open in 2028. Lauren already has restaurants in NY, Paris, Chicago, Milan, and Chengdu, China. How you end up with a restaurant in Chengdu before London is beyond me.
Rumor has it that Substack is suppressing free content. If you’d like to resist the algorithm pushing paid content only, then liking, sharing, quoting and restacking this newsletter will help! <3
