13. Till debt do us part
Plus, how we found out Brooklyn's hottest venue is looking for an exit strategy.
Today’s letter includes: why millennials can't afford to divorce (spoiler: it's not just the lawyers), the pear-shaped engagement ring takeover, a power broker's brutally honest take on “business guys,” Brooklyn Mirage's latest misstep.
I wrote this intro last week, got too busy to send it, and don’t feel like changing it. Take a little journey back in time with me.
Greetings from the LIRR. Coco the Chihuahua and I are headed to Shelter Island to drink a lot of Beachcomber Wine with what can only be described as a charming group of people. Ben graciously let me attend this annual gathering instead of going to Pittsburgh for his best friend's engagement party. Of course the co-dependent side of me is sad to spend this time apart, but the "I want to go to the Hamptons" side of me prevailed. Coco loves running around with her Dachshund pal, Tuna, so I did it for Coco, not me. Definitely not me.
Though I can't say there's much to celebrate about the direction this country is going, there is something to be said about a longer break from our capitalist existence. So, I hope you, dear reader, have a glorious long weekend!
Everything is harder for Millennials, including divorce. "While the generation waited longer to get married, partly contributing to a downswing in divorces, many millennial marriages have now run their course."
Despite far more boomers getting divorced by the time they were the age millennials are today (29 to 44), it wasn't as financially disruptive; they had been able to build assets and savings by their mid-30s. Millennials are entering divorce proceedings already drowning in student debt and locked out of housing markets. The numbers are brutal: of the 12 divorced Millennials Business Insider spoke to, one financial advisor lost up to $300,000 over the course of his divorce last year, while a publicist spent her entire $70K house sale proceeds on legal fees alone.
The shift toward more balanced income dynamics in millennial marriages has paradoxically made divorces pricier, with family courts presuming equality that often doesn't exist. Women initiate two-thirds of divorces but have less financial leverage for drawn-out legal battles. Meanwhile, child support payments have declined 15% since 1981 (adjusted for inflation) and spousal support is increasingly rare.
Some couples are literally too broke to divorce, with Reddit threads asking "How do people afford a divorce?" Nearly half of millennials consider themselves financially dependent on their parents, and many need family bailouts post-divorce. The irony? Marriage evolved from a default milestone into a status symbol for the college-educated, yet those same people are discovering that untying the knot can completely derail their financial futures.
The engagement ring I almost had. I already knew pear-shaped engagement rings were in, but it's official now that Emily Sundberg reported that two New York City influencers, Brigette Pheloung and Danielle Bernstein, got engaged a few weekends ago with very similar, large pear-shaped diamond rings. I love my Cornflower Blue Sapphire, but the basic girlie in me was extremely tempted by a big old pear diamond. The rise of lab grown diamonds has allowed rings to get bigger and bigger without breaking the bank.
UPenn has banned trans athletes from women's sports. Blegh. The school has reached a settlement with the US Department of Education regarding its transgender athlete policies, particularly concerning Lia Thomas, a transgender swimmer. The settlement also involves an apology to female athletes who competed against Thomas and were “negatively impacted by the previous policies.” *BIGGEST EYE ROLL POSSIBLE*
Cute alert. Feeling! Magazine made grown up punch cards for your summer activities! Things like making something with your hands or spreading joy.
This might be my new favorite quote. “The business community freaks out about everything. Many of them are purely transactional. They’re going to suck up to whoever is in there,” a power broker told Curbed reacting to the real-estate-industry types of NYC threatening to move away if Zohran Mamdani becomes mayor.
Brooklyn Mirage is apparently ‘bleeding money’ and they want to sell it ASAP. You may have been following the several cancelled shows at famous Bushwick venue Brooklyn Mirage; maybe you even had a ticket to a show yourself. Well, buckle up baby. Avant Gardner board member Gary Richards (also known by his DJ alias Destructo) was overheard discussing how hard it was to find a buyer for Brooklyn Mirage while dining at Per Se last month. You never know who’s listening!
Isn't this just Millennial pink? Stop trying to make CEO pink happen.
Don’t forget to give this letter a heart or re-stack if you enjoyed! It will motivate me to sit down and write next week :)
The only time I’m thankful for knowledge work:
Thanks for reading! It would mean a lot if you gave this article a heart! <3